All mothers dream of a well-mannered, successful, healthy, and happy child.
Irina Pronina, a coach of parents and teenagers, told me how to raise a child.
And the question arises, how to raise such a child? What does a mother need to do to keep her child well-behaved?
First of all, you need to understand that no matter what the mother does, the child will grow up very similar to her parents in behavior, habits, beliefs, and values.
Because in the period up to 7 years, the child, like a sponge, absorbs everything that he observes in the family, in his environment. And by the age of 7, he has already formed patterns of behavior and reactions to surrounding stimuli.
The main thing to remember is that the child will take an example from you in everything – both good and bad. And if you want to bring up any quality in a child, then, first of all, you need to assess how this very quality is developed in you.
To instill generosity in a child, a mother must be more generous. For example, bring a glass of water to the child when he is busy with something.
If the mother has little time for her family and she is passionate about what she loves, this will benefit the child, as he learns that it is good to pursue his dream. If the mother constantly sacrifices herself, then this is not a very good example to follow.
It is also important to understand that the faith of parents in the child plays a big role. If a mom or dad considers their child to be mediocre, mediocre, then the child will have no choice but to prove it. Because children cannot resist the expectations of their parents.
If, on the contrary, the mother believes that the child will achieve a lot in life and treats him as capable, even if he does not always demonstrate some special qualities, then such a child is doomed to success.
The most important thing in the interaction between parents and the child is the creation of an atmosphere of love, care, affection, and understanding for the child. Only in this case, a feeling of complete security is formed in children and the most favorable environment for development is created.
Following this rule, parents should allow children to make mistakes, explore the world, and draw conclusions from mistakes. At the same time, it is important to keep the focus on the achievements of the child, and not on the misses. All comments should be made not with reproach, but in a general atmosphere of approval.
The general rule is this: after you correct your child once, you need to note three times that he is doing something well. This will instill in the child a sense of confidence and self-esteem.
The researchers concluded that it is not so much the intelligence and qualifications of adults that are important for the development of a child, but a warm, attentive, interested attitude – a close emotional connection. And there is no need to interrupt this connection with punishments and threats.
It happens, of course, that mom gets tired because children require constant attention. And then the mother may think that the child is bullying or that his behavior is a deliberate action.
It is important to pay attention to the appearance of this feeling. This is such a marker of the transition to an inadequate parental state – as soon as it seems to us that “he did it on purpose”, this is a signal that we need a pause. Parents need to rest and replenish their resources.
Communication with a child is an interaction in which both mother and child influence each other and, with the right understanding, develop each other. If something in the behavior of the child makes the mother nervous, this is a sign that she needs to work on herself in this direction.
Children always show us our deepest problems.
And if parents are more attentive to their children, noticing and correctly deciphering their messages, it will become obvious that children have great power and can make us better.